Rebooking WrestleMania IV... just because

I've been reading the Wrestling Observer flashbacks on the Blog Of Doom wrestling site. Right now, we are in March of 1988 approaching WrestleMania IV and Dave Meltzer is making his predictions on who will win the vacated WWF World Heavyweight Championship. Of course, after they changed the brackets to put DiBiase next to the Hulk-Andre winner, the outcome was pretty obvious if you were aware of the fact that Hogan was leaving afterwards to film No Holds Barred. If you weren't, you were thinking it was still Hulk's tournament to lose anyway and it was just a matter of who would be waiting for him in the finals. (HAHA, silly boys and girls!)

Anyway, I searched for the original tournament brackets and came across another link from Place To Be Nation (of which my friend and UNH alum Scott Criscuolo is a major contributor) in which they invited others to re-book WrestleMania IV. The rules were that you could not duplicate any of the actual matches that took place and all of the champions at the time must have been champ in the re-imagined world also.

Of course, this is the kind of creative thing I love to do. Thus, for no good reason other than to satisfy my own active imagination, here is my fantasy re-booking of WrestleMania IV...

The tournament goes on, but it's a straight-up 16-man instead of the 14-man with Hogan & Andre getting a first-round bye. Hey, if they're as good as kayfabe would have you believe, they should beat their first-round opponents, no sweat. EXCEPT... DiBiase draws Hogan at the end of the first round as "punishment" for the Million Dollar Man's cumulative chicanery over the past few months. 

My World Title Brackets...
Andre the Giant vs. Koko B. Ware
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Ravishing Rick Ride
Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Harley Race
Don Muraco (I refuse to call him "The Rock") vs. One Man Gang
"Macho Man" Randy Savage vs. Dino Bravo
Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat vs. Hercules
Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
Hulk Hogan vs. Ted DiBiase

Also on the card
Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts - IC Title Match
Strike Force vs. Hart Foundation - Tag Team Title Match, 2 out of 3 falls
Demolition vs. Killer Bees
Ultimate Warrior vs. King Kong Bundy
20-man Battle Royal - British Bulldogs, Islanders, Young Stallions, Bolsheviks, Rougeau Brothers, Sika, Hillbilly Jim, Bad News Brown, Outlaw Ron Bass, Junkyard Dog, Danny Davis, Ken Patera, Butch Reed, Sam Houston & George "The Animal" Steele

Here we go!

20-man Battle Royal - Bad News still wins. Highlights include Dynamite Kid being the first one eliminated by the Islanders. He then charges the ring with Matilda to extract revenge. Islanders eliminate themselves to escape. Finish sees Patera throwing Bad News over, thinking he's won, but Bad News holds on, slips back in. Ghetto Blaster, see you later Patera. 

Andre vs. Koko, 1st Round- Andre is old and fat and in bad shape, but he's Andre the Giant. Still, he needs a quick squash if he is to make it to the finals. Who better than Koko to eat a giant pin sixty seconds in?

Bigelow vs. Rude, 1st Round- Rude isn't the man yet, so he jobs to Bigelow's slingshot in a nice, 8-minute match

Duggan vs. Race, 1st Round- This is the blowoff from their big months-long feud, which included taking over the Slammys in epic fashion. Duggan dispatches Harley in a hard-fought bout.

Muraco vs. Gang, 1st Round- Basically, a re-do of the actual Gang-Bigelow match. Slick pulls the rope down on Muraco. Billy Graham and Slick then engage in a swordfight with their respective canes. Muraco gets distracted and gets counted out.

Savage vs. Bravo, 1st Round- A re-do of the actual Savage-Reed match. Bravo dominates, tries to woo Elizabeth, gets slammed and elbowed. Thanks for playing, Dino.

Steamboat vs. Hercules, 1st Round- A clash of styles. Crowd is into it, though, because they sense an epic rematch for the ages on the horizon. Ten minutes in, Herc tries the full nelson but falls prey to a small package from The Dragon. Yes, it's really happening this time!

Beefcake vs. Valentine, 1st Round- The Dream Team Explodes! Another blowoff match and they really deliver. It's going long though and the crowd senses a time-limit draw UNTIL Jimmy Hart accidentally clocks The Hammer with the megaphone giving Brutus the pin.

Hulk vs. DiBiase, 1st Round- The matches and the feuds have built to a crescendo. Trump Plaza goes rabid over Hogan tearing up the Million Dollar Man. Hogan looks to finish Ted easily, but it's a SWERVE! Big boot puts Ted out to the floor. Hulk throws him back in, but Virgil and Andre grab Hogan's legs! Hulkster can't budge them. Ref is counting! Here comes Savage and Bam Bam... but it's TOO LATE!! Hogan is counted out!! Crowd is shocked! DiBiase advances without twin referees! 

This would be an awful time for an intermission, so instead we get....

Warrior vs. Bundy - Okay, yes, Bundy wasn't on the card and was pretty much gone from WWF by this time, but the guy LIVES in Atlantic City. Why not throw a few bucks his way to mosey on down to Trump Plaza and put over the new sensation that is The Ultimate Warrior. No press slam, though, because Bundy is friggin' huge. Either way, it's a foreshadowing of things to come later that year for Jim Hellwig??...

Now, it's intermission, followed by....

Bigelow vs. Andre, 2nd round- This is a "rematch" of sorts from Survivor Series, where the Giant last eliminated Bam Bam. Andre is booed out of the building for daring to eliminate Hogan and Bigelow is one of the few guys who has a snowball's chance in hell against him. Alas, it's not to be. Bam Bam gives it a go, but falls to the Giant after seven minutes.

Duggan vs. Gang, 2nd Round- Another hard-hitting affair, but Hacksaw can't resist going for that 2x4 about five minutes in and wallops the future Akeem for the DQ.

Savage vs. Steamboat, 2nd Round- Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the DREAM REMATCH THAT NEVER WAS AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN!! It's easily the match of the night. Twenty minutes and awesomeness that doesn't QUITE equal WrestleMania III, but that's okay. Savage looks to be done, but Dragon goes for the slam, and it's the small package finish from the year before. This time, Ricky goes down for the three-count. They shake hands. Bonnie hugs Elizabeth. It's pure theatre. Everybody cries and Steamboat goes back to the NWA. 

Beefcake vs. DiBiase, 2nd Round- Logic would indicate that Ted goes over, but that's against the rules, so here's Plan B. Beefcake hooks the sleeper, Andre saunters down, Hogan follows with a chair. Virgil gets a chair. Robin Leach gets a chair (No, not really...) Eveybody flies into the ring with chairs and it's PANDEMONIUM! The end result is a double DQ. Virgil eats the suplex on the floor, Hogan slams Andre, Beefcake pauses and motions to the crowd to cut Andre's hair, but his cohorts pull him out just in time. Brutus leaves and Hogan poses for ten minutes.

Honky vs. Roberts, IC Title Match- Another rematch from last year's WrestleMania. Honky goes for the Shake Rattle & Roll, but Jake goldbricks him, pops up and DDT's him. ONE.... TWO.... MEGAPHONE SHOT!! Damn you, Jimmy Hart! Honky loses the match but saves the title!

Demolition vs. Killer Bees- Just a big ol' six-minute squash for Ax and Smash to prove they are badasses and next in line for the tag titles.

Andre vs. Gang, Semi-Finals- This should be interesting, as Andre is weakened after a match with Bam Bam and the Beefcake-DiBiase shenanigans. BUT WAIT!! DiBiase is back and he's got a briefcase full of green for the Slickster and the Gang. Kinda like a Money In the Bank briefcase two decades before its time. They gladly take it. Bell rings, Gang lays down, 1, 2, 3. Andre is in the finals against Savage who gets a bye. What a miscarriage of justice, says Gorilla Monsoon.

Strike Force vs. Hart Foundation, Tag Title Match, 2 out of 3 falls- Once and for all, and it's a twenty minute epic. Harts get the first fall with the Hart Attack. Strike Force come back for the 2nd fall with the Boston Crab. Third fall is back and forth. Hart Attack looks to finish, but Santana catches Bret on the rebound with the flying jalapeno. Danny Davis comes down in a referee shirt, but Joey Marella cuts him off. Uh oh! Here's Jimmy Hart with another megaphone shot, but Santana moves and the Hitman gets clocked! Strike Force retain! (For now, until Demolition strikes)... Post-match, Bret is furious. Anvil yells at Jimmy. Danny Davis tries to intervene, but the Harts lay him out! Hart Attack on Jimmy Hart! He finally gets his comeuppance and the Hart Foundation turn face. Months later (in my world), Martel's injury would cause Strike Force to forfeit the belts. A tournament for the tag titles culminates at SummerSlam where Demolition defeats the Hart Foundation to win the straps.

WWF World Title Final, Andre vs. Savage- As expected, Andre dominates to start. Macho tries to come back, but can't knock down the giant. Andre gets closer, but ten minutes in, Savage weakens him. A succession of axe handles stagger Andre. Can Savage slam him? HA! No, but he doesn't have to! A flying body press takes down the big guy. Macho delivers the flying elbow, but Andre kicks out at two! Another axe handle puts him down. Here comes Hogan to watch up-close (and stop DiBiase and the paid-off One Man Gang from interfering) as Savage delivers a second flying elbow for the pin!! He has slayed the giant and become world champion! This makes next year's Megapower explosion that much more interesting. Both men are immortal. Both have beaten the unbeatable giant, but who will emerge as the greatest champion of all?!? 

And that is my version of WrestleMania IV, for what it's worth.

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