Waiting For That First Check

I'm not going to lie. I forgot I had this blog. I'm not even sure if people still blog. Well, I'm going to do so, because I need to. Twitter is too toxic for me. Don't get me wrong. I've met some great people through the bird app. They are the only reason why I still have it. I've recently realized how dangerous it is for my mental health (and, for that matter, my relationships with my friends) to tweet a spur-of-the-moment missive and wait for three random people to like it and nobody to comment. It's designed to make you beg for validation that will never come. It's a drug and we know what happens when you become addicted to drugs. You crave it more and more until you become overbearing and self- loathing. It only gets worse from there. 

Maybe this blog is the rehab I need. I used to write a lot. In fact, for those of you whom I've recently met, I wrote a book. Yes, a real book. It's available on Amazon and everything. It totally sucks. No self-respecting publisher would touch my faux biography about Sean Mattea and Billie Shaw. I didn't labor over a contrived love story for the better part of two years for it to not see the light of day. Thus, I self-published. I paid Light Switch Press of Fort Collins, CO to release my book to the masses. They send your first royalty check when you hit the $50 mark. 

I'm still waiting for that first check. 

Luckily for me, this is free. Plus, this is not a one-sentence blurb that will get you crucified by a rando who disagrees with you. For all intents and purposes, it's my public diary. 

So, allow myself to reintroduce... Myself. My name is Brian. I wrote a terrible book. I tried to do voiceovers before that and never got a paying gig. I settled for a regular job. I didn't settle for the wrong woman. Instead, I found the best woman to marry - someone who loves me despite my failures. 

Maybe someday I'll get that first check. Until then, I'll break even by writing here. After all, we have an edit button.