A Load of BS

  They say a picture is worth a thousand words. To quote a dearly departed songwriter, if you could read my mind, what a tale my thoughts could tell.  The catch is I don't remember some of the finer details, nor do I want to.  The photo you see above here was the last picture taken from what would become my last author signing event. I learned from my friends and colleagues to leave a piece of your work behind as a way to thank the hotel staff for their hospitality.  I didn't know it at the time, but maybe this was a case of foreshadowing. I always loved using that tool in my stories. I'm a lifelong pro wrestling fan. When I found this photo yesterday, the first thought that popped into my head was that of a veteran grappler ceremoniously taking off his boots and leaving them in the ring. This is a time-honored tradition and a clear sign that he has just competed in his final bout.  I didn't realize it until last night. This photo symbolizes me leaving my boots ...

There are landmark days that stand out in people’s minds, for a variety of reasons. Your birthday, your wedding day, your high school graduation day, or the night you drank the blue liquor and nearly blacked out at a bachelor party. Authors tend to commemorate these occasions by releasing a book on their birthday, or perhaps re-releasing a book on the same day for continuity purposes. I published my first book on February 26, 2016. Even then, I wasn’t an author. I was simply a guy who wrote a book. Some years later, I published another book on April 20, 2023. For all intents and purposes, that was my first day as a “real” author. However, the day that truly sticks out in my mind is July 29, 2023. Facebook likes to tell you what happened "On This Day". You see, a year ago, I boarded a plane to visit my family in Florida and enjoy a trip to Walt Disney World. I landed at approximately 1:30pm, walked for a thousand years through a brand-new concourse at Orlando International Air...

Do you know what I realized today for the first time since I had my falling out with those Bad Islanders Fans?  I'm not going to lose any of my real friends. 😊  That's it. That's the post. 

I should be working on my newsletter right now, but I wanted to blog instead. I'm actually multitasking; I'm listening to an interview with an author friend as we speak. As fate would have it, I found an unpublished draft on here from March. Wouldn't you know it, this is exactly what I want to address here and now.  I often look at people and wonder what drives them. What makes them great? What makes them different? What makes them keep going?  The answer is usually considered a positive trait. Determination, focus, love, desire. While all of this holds true for me, those answers also come from a dark place.  The primary one is fear. Fear of losing. Fear of failure. Fear of being inadequate. Most people know I deal with High-Functioning Anxiety and Depression. Imagine caring too much about what's not important and not enough about what is. Imagine sabotaging yourself and then falling to pieces when you lose. That's the genesis of it.  The term "neurospicy"...

Until a few minutes ago, I couldn't decide which project to work on tonight. As I sat here with the ESPN bowl games acting as background noise, I wondered ' Do I work on the continuation of my Core Memories sexy romance series? ' (Yes, I can say the word sexy here. It's my blog. I'm not going to ban myself). ' Do I revisit my full-length work-in-progress that feels empty to me? '  Don't get me wrong. The latter is going to be a wonderful story once I decide to continue writing it. I just don't feel comfortable penning a straight fiction novel right now, even though one of my dear friends insists (and I'm paraphrasing here) "There's something uniquely special about a Brian Scala book." I can't shake this feeling that it needs to be something more than what it is. Romance, Horror, Suspense, maybe all of the above. I need a niche. People want horror or romance, or both. That's partially why I decided to dive into the romance th...

It's been a while since I've done a blog post. The last time I wrote something here, things were not in a positive light. Things are better now, thankfully. I'm almost ready to proceed with publishing and releasing Eddie The Legend. I'm just waiting on beta reader feedback and one other indie publisher/author friend with whom I plan to submit my manuscript. Either way, I will move forward on or around April 1st. My goal is to have book in hand by Memorial Day so I can start planning my summer marketing. My authors group will likely have some summer events where I can peddle it. After the summer, I'll start thinking about my next story.  Also, I firmly believe that my upcoming book will show a significant improvement in writing proficiency. However, I'm biased. One other important thing I want to mention. Tell the people you love that you love them. Do it early and often. There will come a time where your parents or grandparents will start to lose their mental ca...

We all know that age-old saying. Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Unfortunately, I appear to have done this. Your friends will love you enough to tell you when it's time to get help. After a while, they tell you by ignoring you. Not naming names here. In 2005, I went through a rough time with anxiety and depression. I was a bit needy and vented a lot. It got to a point where one of my friends decided to cut me off or put me in a timeout. However you want to categorize it, this person decided they were done with me for a time. I ended up seeking help. My friend and I eventually reconnected and slowly but surely rebuilt our relationship. I'm happy to say we are the best of friends to this day. This year has been a terrible year for me in regards to anxiety and depression. No details here. The point is I forgot that some friends (not the same person as last time) can only do so much for you before they put you in a timeout. That's on me. Now it'...

Dear Robin Williams, First and foremost, you were, without a doubt, my favorite actor growing up. You were my favorite comedian. Quite frankly, you were one of my favorite human beings up until the time of your death. I miss you, as does most of the free world. I recently started writing again. Subsequently, I started befriending a few authors on social media. I'm extremely happy with the quality of my second book so far. These days, I don't think too highly of my first book. I was a first-time author. It was inconsistent at best. One of my new writer friends suggested that I get my name back out there by embracing my first book and giving away a copy. I'm sure you're asking 'What does this have to do with me?" Well, I have a hard time re- reading my first book. I've skimmed bits and pieces here and there. Some of it is well written. A lot of it is cringe worthy.  There is a passage near the end of the book that uses your unfortunate death as a means to an ...

First and foremost, it is never anyone's business why somebody decides to consume or not consume anything, whether it be food, alcohol or other recreational substances. Nobody has questioned me on this topic recently. However, I started thinking about the who, what, where, when, why and how and decided to offer some context. My grandfather, Vincent Scala Sr., was always kind and loving towards me. He was a lively individual who enjoyed his Yankees, his horse racing and trips to Atlantic City. He also enjoyed his alcohol. By all accounts, he enjoyed it too much. I don't know what made him tick. I wasn't around for 95% of the bad times.  Towards the end of his life, all of his major organs started failing. His four children (and my grandmother, by then his ex-wife) took turns caring for a belligerent, mean bastard that was once my kind, fun-loving grandfather. Finally, my father took him in. There he stayed until his life ended in 1998. When I started noticing changes in my b...

Hello. My name is Brian. I am a chronic people-pleaser and an attention seeker. The latter is extremely hard for me to admit. I promise you, I don’t purposely seek attention. I don’t try to act out. I believe everything I do or say is with the best of intentions.  My problem is I have a need to be loved by everyone. I try too hard and sometimes it comes across as being overbearing. When I don’t get a positive reaction, I try harder to get that reaction and it just makes it worse. When I get anything construed as a negative reaction, it sends me into a downward spiral of depression. It’s a vicious cycle. This is probably why I’ve had trouble maintaining friendships over the years. I also apologize too much. I apologize for everything. I'm afraid of losing. I focus too much on trying not to lose that I forget how to win. Many times, I don't believe in myself and I don't believe I'm good enough. I could seriously use that Stuart Smalley self-help mirror. I'm good enoug...

On this rainy Tuesday, many of our young friends in New York are going back to school. Football season is upon us. Thankfully, hockey season is fast approaching as well. This is the time of year where I look back on my time at University of New Haven. You know, the "best years of my life" that I'm still paying for? We all know some people who are venturing off to college for the first time. I'm here to tell you it will be fine... just as long as your parents have money to send you. Back in my day, I had to wait for the check to come in the mail, the mail that took an extra two days to go through the UNH mailroom. It was either that or go to a random convenience store to collect via Western Union.  It will be fine as long as you have a car. This doesn't apply to those who go to John Jay and take mass transit. It does apply to those who go to school upstate or in New England. Don't rely on others to drive you. Don't rely on the bus to take you to the mall. Y...

I'm not going to lie. I forgot I had this blog. I'm not even sure if people still blog. Well, I'm going to do so, because I need to. Twitter is too toxic for me. Don't get me wrong. I've met some great people through the bird app. They are the only reason why I still have it. I've recently realized how dangerous it is for my mental health (and, for that matter, my relationships with my friends) to tweet a spur-of-the-moment missive and wait for three random people to like it and nobody to comment. It's designed to make you beg for validation that will never come. It's a drug and we know what happens when you become addicted to drugs. You crave it more and more until you become overbearing and self- loathing. It only gets worse from there.  Maybe this blog is the rehab I need. I used to write a lot. In fact, for those of you whom I've recently met, I wrote a book. Yes, a real book. It's available on Amazon and everything. It totally sucks. No self...

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of visiting the new state-of-the-art studios of 88.7 FM, WNHU. It was impressive seeing new equipment being put to use in a renovated house. The annual alumni meeting was held in a nice, newly- constructed basement. It was a far cry from the old days where I spent the majority of my four years in a dilapidated basement. Allegedly, a deceased janitor walked the halls and ghosts of old orphans from the 1950s bounced dodgeballs in the bowels of the building. We were encouraged to share our experiences and stories of the past. It's hard to encapsulate four years of memories in an email without the reader losing his or her focus. I did my best to summarize my life at WNHU to the new station manager. Here's what I wrote: In September of 1994, I walked through those glass doors in the basement of Maxcy Hall and began the greatest four years of my life at WNHU. I loved sports and new alternative music, two distinct entities that garnered the la...

My friend Matt Mentone likes to tell the story of how he first met Jim. He walked into the WNHU studios, down in the bowels of dingy Maxcy Hall, one day back in 1995. The man extended his hand and said, "Hi. Jim Abbott, like the pitcher." I suppose there could have been more than one Jim Abbott in this world, but the one we would come to know and love was one-of-a-kind. This made it all the more sad when Matt texted me last night. He'd heard from a mutual friend that Jim Abbott passed away on June 11th at the age of 59. I later found out that he'd suffered a stroke in January and never fully recovered. When I walked into my first sports department meeting in 1994, I was a little punk with long hair who loved alternative music and sports. I'd previously met Jay McEnaney, WNHU's Sports Director and play-by-play man at the time. Next to him was a young Scott Criscuolo, whom I would later bond with over anything Mets and wrestling-related. Then, there was this...

15 years ago, I was working for what is now known as Valley National Bank. I got out of my car at approximately 8:45. Literally, in the time it took me to walk from the parking lot into the building, everything changed. Don't ever take anything for granted. It can all change forever in the span of ten seconds. Today, a lot will be made of some athletes either standing or sitting or holding hands for our National Anthem. You want to talk about injustice in this country? For me, it doesn't get any more unjust than terrorists from another part of the world hijacking airplanes and driving them into the World Trade Center killing thousands of innocent people. When you stand for the anthem, you're not just standing for yourself. You're standing for everyone who gave their lives, either willingly or unwillingly, so that you can live in America and have the nerve to claim injustice. Terrorists don't care about black lives, white lives, or any of that. They care if you a...

I've been reading the Wrestling Observer flashbacks on the Blog Of Doom wrestling site. Right now, we are in March of 1988 approaching WrestleMania IV and Dave Meltzer is making his predictions on who will win the vacated WWF World Heavyweight Championship. Of course, after they changed the brackets to put DiBiase next to the Hulk-Andre winner, the outcome was pretty obvious if you were aware of the fact that Hogan was leaving afterwards to film No Holds Barred . If you weren't, you were thinking it was still Hulk's tournament to lose anyway and it was just a matter of who would be waiting for him in the finals. (HAHA, silly boys and girls!) Anyway, I searched for the original tournament brackets and came across another link from Place To Be Nation (of which my friend and UNH alum Scott Criscuolo is a major contributor) in which they invited others to re-book WrestleMania IV. The rules were that you could not duplicate any of the actual matches that took place and all...

As a baseball fan, the beginning of every new year brings the anticipation of the announcement of a new Hall of Fame class. For the past few years, I have yearned for that moment when Mike Piazza's name is called. Since 2013, yours truly, along with other Mets fans, have cried foul as rumors and innuendo have kept Piazza from his rightful place amongst the game's immortals. It appears that, finally, the haters have been swayed by a lack of proof and an infusion of common sense. As reported via social media, Piazza has about 90% of the support of all writers on Twitter. There's a good chance that, at this time tomorrow, he will be among the newest inductees at Cooperstown. I will be amongst the many basking in the glory as the first ever Mets position player is enshrined. I will watch from my home, avoiding the annual apocalypse that overtakes Otsego County. I shall bide my time until my wife and I travel to upstate New York a few weeks later to prostrate in front of Mr....

Happy Canada Day to my friends up north and Happy Bobby Bonilla Day  to  all you Mets fans! Yes, indeed. It’s Christmas come early once again for Bobby Bo. As you are undoubtedly aware, today is the day that Bobby Bonilla gets his annual deferred salary of $1.19 million from the New York Mets. It all started during the 1999 playoffs when he and Ricky Henderson had the audacity to play cards in the clubhouse during a game that was still in progress. The Mets decided to cut bait after the season, presumably to give Bonilla time to hone his skills for the World Series of Poker. Bobby Bo was still owed $5.9 million on his contract. Rather than reward him for his sheer lack of interest in baseball-related activities, the Mets, in their infinite wisdom, agreed to defer his payment ten years.  This agreement also factored in an annual interest rate of 8%. Thus, the Mets  have sent Bonilla a check for $1,193,248.20 every year since 2010. They could have ju...

I'm a little late to the party, but it saddens me to think of a potential future without spring training baseball in Central Florida. Last month, The Houston Astros and Washington Nationals announced plans to leave Kissimmee and Viera , respectively, for a brand-new facility in Palm Beach County. This would likely create a ripple effect that could eventually facilitate the departures of the Braves and Tigers. Similar to Arizona spring baseball, most teams in Florida want to train and play within short distances of each other. This means the Tampa Bay region, the Fort Myers area, Palm Beach County and the Treasure Coast would all be chomping at the bit for future spring training occupants. Of course, Central Florida is not hurting for tourism dollars with the presence of The Walt Disney Company, Universal, Sea World, WWE's NXT development program and, um... THE WALT DISNEY COMPANY! Still, baseball is a part of the fabric of spring in the Orlando area. This is why I'm m...

Apparently, WWE has booked themselves into a corner... for NEXT year's WrestleMania. You see, WWE is holding WrestleMania 32 at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas. The goal is simple: Break the world indoor attendance record again and puff out your chest. WWE famously set the new standard at WrestleMania III at the Pontiac Silverdome in 1987 with 93,173. Conspiracy theories aside, that record (real or imagined) was legitimately broken by the 2010 NBA All-Star Game. 108,713 fans filled AT&T Stadium. Surely, WWE can get more fans for the simple reason that a wrestling ring takes up less room than a basketball court. The question is what will they have to offer for the big day in Big D? Here is a quote attributed to the immortal Dave Meltzer... "Any legend that can still perform will probably be asked to be part of the show." Boy, is that an indictment on the WWE's inability to make new stars or what? It sounds like they bit off more than they could chew. Of co...